Later today I promise to mock the Obama administration's National Export Initiative to within an inch of its life; on a Friday morning, however,  FP readers deserve a dose of whimsy. 

With pitchers and catchers due to report later this month, I bring you the greatest nexus between sports, world politics, and Web 2.0 technologies yet discovered:  Ichiro Suzuki as a both a precision-guided munition and a weapon of mass destruction. 

Hat tip:  ESPN's Rob Neyer. 

[I]s the sacrifice of 58,000 Americans worth a bad Yankee team?

The answer is obviously yes.

This is a question that could tear apart the nation... Red Sox Nation, that is. 

More here.  I really don't think this is anything more than a coincidence, and I certainly don't agree with the blogger's estimation of Lyndon Johnson. 

Still, if one wanted to develop a completely unsubstantiated hypothesis, however, one could posit that the explanation for this correlation is that under a GOP president, the mercurial owner of the Yankees faced fewer contraints to royally f**k up interfere in the management of the team, resulting in some spectacular flame-outs on the diamond. 

It's not true, of course, but it's a more entertaining urban myth than Obama's citizenship status or Bush's role in the 9/11 attacks. 

 

 

The World Baseball Classic has been under way since Saturday, and this year's version of the event has been even more exciting than the 2006 inaugural tournament.  Already, the U.S. barely edged Canada, 6-5 in a game that came down to the last pitch.  As I'm typing this, Australia, having upset Mexico earlier in the week, is giving Cuba a run for its money (the Aussies are winning 4-2 in the 6th.  UPDATE:  the Cubans come back to eke out a 5-4 victory).  If Cuba loses, I would hate to see Fidel Castro's blog post about it (hat tip:  SI's Tom Verducci)

This is all prelude, however, to the biggest shocker of all -- in San Juan, Puerto Rico, the Netherlands eliminated the Dominican Republic, beating them 2-1 in 11 innings.  This was the second victory by the Dutch over the D.R. in a week. 

For those traditional Foreign Policy reading, World Cup-loving kind of readers, let me try to explain the magnitude of this upset in terms that you would understand.  Imagine that the South Korean soccer team just beat Brazil in a match played in Uruguay.  No, check that -- imagine that the Koreans beat the Brazilians twice in two matches.  That's what we're talking about here. 

The implications for the globalization of baseball are pretty good, as Verducci points out: 

Major League Baseball can work all of its machinations to pump up interest in the tournament, such as marketing and broadcasting. But there is nothing more powerful to sell the tournament than the unscripted magnificence of the game itself, never more so than when what we regard as the meek overtake the mighty.

 

Baseball Prospectus has been running an off-season series entitled "GM for a Day" in which their staff suggests offseason plans for myriad teams (here's what they did with the Yankees).  In the wake of the Yankees acquisition of C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, and M.C. Teixeira, much of Red Sox Nation is panicking, while others are contemplating Plan B's.  So, I'm gonna take a stab at what the Red Sox can do in the remaining bits of the offseason in order to best compete for the World Series.  Here are my proposed moves:

1. Don't panic.  The Yankees have made some great signings, no doubt.  As I pointed out here, however, their track record on this front has not been all that promising over the past decade.  Meanwhile, both Toronto and Tampa Bay should regress from the previous season.  Things are still pretty promising for the Red Sox.  The last time the Red Sox toyed with but rejected a swap of Mike Lowell for a high-profile first baseman, they won a World Series the next year.  In 2009, the parent club should expect useful contributions from prospects like Daniel Bard, Michael Bowden, and Lars Anderson.  BP's Joe Sheehan is correct when he points out, "The Yankees have been active by necessity; the Red Sox have been quiet by choice."  As Bill Burt concurs in the Berkshire Eagle-Tribune, "That's the beauty of the position the Red Sox are in. They did not need Mark Teixeira. He was a luxury, an expensive one."
2. Sign Kevin Youkilis and Jon Lester to long-term contracts.  Two-time World Series winners tend not to get much sympathy from the rest of the world, but signing Youkilis and Lester (along with Dustin Pedroia's recent contract) serves several baseball and PR purposes.  It locks up Boston's best three players from last year ; it highlights the fact that Boston's strength is its home-grown talent (in contrast to the Yankees); and it keeps together a core that has clearly thrived in the hothouse that is Boston sports. 
3. Sign Rocco Baldelli to a three year, $18 million contract; sign David Eckstein to a two-year, $8 million contract.  The Red Sox' biggest flaw last year was a weak bench.  There was no decent pinch-hitter in the group, in particular on the right-hand side.  Sean Casey was a great guy, but he couldn't field and I'm pretty sure that a 59-year old Bill Buckner could have beaten him in a foot race.  So if the Sox are going to overpay, overpay for bench strength.  Baldelli is a local New Englander, he can play all three outfield positions, and he is apparently less sick that previously thought.  Give him what he likely craves, which is a long-term deal.  He's great insurance for the inevitable J.D. Drew injury or Jacoby Ellsbury slump.  Eckstein is past his prime, but he can play both second base and shortstop, and is a pretty decent situational hitter when the need arises.  No one will offer him a two-year deal, so this guarantees we get him. 
4. Trade Clay Buchholz and Manny Delcarmen to the Texas Rangers for Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Hank Blalock; resign Jason Varitek once he realizes the non-existent market for his services.  The biggest weakness in the Red Sox lineup last year was at catcher, so deal with that.  There are debates about whether Saltalamacchia will be able to stay at catcher, but the great thing about getting him is that it doesn't matter.  He can catch for the next few years, by which point one could sign Joe Mauer (or promote Dusty Brown) and move him to DH or first base.  Varitek can be Saltalamacchia's caddy/advisor.  Blalock provides a corner bench player with some pop.  Trades and player development have made both Buchholz and Delcarmen expendable while still valuable, and Lord knows the Rangers need pitching. 
5. Convert Justin Masterson into a three-inning closer.  Here's an area where the Red Sox can make in innovation, or retrovation; bring back the three-inning closer.  Masterson would be perfect in this role, and helps to give the bullpen a guaranteed rest day.  Let him pitch once every three or games, and you get 120+ innings out of him, while easing the pressure of the rest of the 'pen.
6. Trade Julio Lugo and David Pauley to the Oakland Athletics for a bag of balls Jerry Blevins.  Lugo will be a distraction if he's around Boston, and if anyone recognizes Lugo's positive qualities, it's Billy Beane.  If the Sox offer to eat half his contract, then Beane will give up a decent lefty reliever in exchange for an inexpensive two years of a shortstop with an above-average OPS at his position.  The Red Sox would get a backstop to Hideki Okajima and end the Javier Lopez experiment.     
7. Sign John Smoltz to a one-year contract.  My wheeling/dealing leaves the Red Sox a little thin in the fifth starter/swingman/11th reliever category.  Smoltz has started and closed in their career, so he can fit the bill if Bowden or Masterson or Ramon Ramirez falls short somehow. 

So, the 2009 Red Sox would look like this: Lineup: 

• CF  Jacoby Ellsbury
• 2B  Dustin Pedroia
• DH  David Ortiz
• 1B  Kevin Youkilis
• 3B  Mike Lowell
• RF  J.D. Drew
• LF  Jason Bay
• C  Jarrod Saltalamacchia
• SS  Jed Lowrie

Bench: 

• OF Baldelli
• OF/INF Bailey
• INF Blalock
• INF Eckstein
• C  Varitek

Rotation: 

• Beckett
• Lester
• Matsuzaka
• Wakefield
• Bowden/Smoltz

Bullpen:

• Papelbon
• Okajima
• Ramirez
• Masterson
• Blevins
• Smoltz/Bard

 I'm pretty comfortable with that. 

Both the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy and the New York Times' Jack Curry devote their columns today to Red Sox manager Terry Francona.  They have similar themes -- Sox fans underappreciate Francona, but not true baseball insiders.  Shaughnessy first: 

Francona is never going to get the Red Auerbach or Bill Belichick treatment around here. In the eyes of some old-school Red Sox watchers, he's not even on a par with Dick Williams. But when do we start looking at what is happening with the Red Sox and assigning some credit to the man in the corner office? Just because Francona doesn't intimidate people or try to portray himself as a genius, is that any reason to diminish what the man has done?

And now Curry: 

Although Francona has more World Series rings as a manager than Lou Piniella,  Bobby Cox or Jim Leyland, he is not routinely mentioned as one of baseball’s elite managers.... Stop fans on any street that is not in New England and ask them to pick baseball’s best managers. Not many would select Francona. When Francona was presented with this theory, he said, “My dad would.”

OK, enough -- do Shaughnessy and Curry have some secret bar where they meet a few guys named Sully once a month so they can write this kind of "fan-on-the-street" crap with a clear conscience?  As a Red Sox fan who talks to other Sox fans, I have rarely, if ever, heard an unkind word directed at Francona during his tenure as manager here.  In fact, most Sox fans think Francona excels at the three biggest challenges a Red Sox manager faces:  a) keeping the players on the same page; b) handling the media; c) never panicking during the season. If anything, it's the national media -- I'm looking at you, BBWAA -- that underrates Francona.  Consider that he's never won Manager of the Year.  In the miracle year of 2004, he finished fifth in the voting, receiving zero first-place ballots.  In 2005, he managed to get a team without a true #1 or #2 starter and no established closer into the postseason and finished sixth in the voting, receiving zero first-place ballots.  Last year, despite helming the team with the best record, he finished fourth in the voting and received zero first-place ballots.   Oh, and he's not going to win it this year, either -- Joe Maddon will.  Why is this?  The MOY tends to go to the guy who's team exceeeds expectations -- and since Francona's been around, the Red Sox have been expected to go in the post-season.  GM Theo Epstein (deservedly) gets a lot of credit that might otherwise go to Francona.  It's a regular season vote as well, so Francona's post-season success doesn't count.  And Francona really is pretty self-effacing -- if it's an act, then it's a very convincing one.  So, to use a poker metaphor, Francona usually holds better cards than the other guys.  His skill at playing those cards, however, is underrated.  If the Red Sox win the World Series again this year, however, my bet is that Francona's reputation goes sky-high.  By some metrics, the Red Sox are still the best team in the league, but they've had to deal with a lot of injuries plus the whole Manny brouhaha.  Unlike last year, they're not expected to win this year.  Joe Torre is no longer in New York City.  If he can exceed expectations again, then maybe the national baseball media elite will catch up to what Red Sox fans have known for quite some time -- Terry Francona is a damn fine manager. 

Rather than link to silly things like cartoons, let's link to more serious things, like baseball.  Maybe it's the incessant ads, or anticipating the irony of Terry Francona being the home manager at Yankee Stadium, or (most likely) my son's excitement about the whole shindig, but I'm actually looking forward to the All-Star Game for the first time in a long while.  During the All-Star break, here are some articles worthy of perusal: 

• On Baseball Prospectus, Dayn Perry makes the case that, across a variety of dimensions, baseball is morally superior to football;
• In the New York Times, Alan Schwarz pens a fascinating article about the media responses to Josh Hamilton and Milton Bradley of the Texas Rangers.  Because of their checkered past (Hamilton's drug/alcohol addictions; Bradley's temper), they call themselves the Risk Brothers.  By standard metrics -- on-base percentage and slugging -- Bradley is having the better year.  Hamilton is receiving all the better press, however.  Intriguingly, while some Rangers' players suggest that this can be explained by race, Bradley himself rejects that idea.  He thinks it's more about, "his refusal to kowtow to the news media for something as relatively benign as a wicked temper." 
• Slate's Nate DiMeo has a fun little essay on how sabremetricians are trying to devise new metrics for defensive efficiency, and why all of them conclude that Derek Jeter is a lousy infielder. 
• The American League has been on quite the All-Star winning streak.  The secret to their success?  Yahoo! Sports Jeff Passan reveals it -- Ichiro's profane pre-game speech.  An excerpt:  "Bleep … bleep bleep bleep … National League … bleep … bleep … bleeeeeeeeep … National – bleep bleep bleepbleepbleep." 
• I had no intention of watching last night's Home Run Derby, but because my son was into it, I watched it with him.  I'm very happy, because Josh Hamilton put on a hitting display that really has to be seen to be believed.  Joe Sheehan summarizes the good parts: 

Over the next 20 minutes, Hamilton hit a total of 28 home runs, including 13 in a row at one point. He hit a series of blasts into the upper deck, a few more scattered through the right-center bleachers, a pair of balls into the "black seats" in center field. Along the way he converted a crowd that had been fairly apathetic to that point -- largely ignoring Yankee broadcaster Michael Kay's repeated requests that they cheer one guy or another on -- into Josh Hamilton's 50,000 biggest fans. Chants of "Ham-il-ton" and "M-V-P" spread from the bleachers to the crowd, each bomb off of Hamilton's bat raising the volume a bit more.

Enjoy the break!