EXCLUSIVE: The secret deliberations of the Norwegian Nobel Committee

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 8:34am

If you're wondering why it took me a few hours before choosing to blog about Barack Obama's Nobel Peace Price award.... well, it took me that long to stop laughing. 

Honestly, I'm not laughing at Obama.  I'm laughing at the morons on the Norwegian Nobel Committee who made this decision to cheapen an already devalued prize.

Seriously, let's imagine the deliberations that led to this decision:

CHAIR:  Guys?  Guys!!  It's 2 AM and we've got an award to give later today!  What are we gonna do?    We can't use Jimmy Carter again -- he was our emergency winner the last time we were stumped!  If we don't do this right, we'll have less credibility than the Grammys!!

MEMBER A (clearly drunk):  Hey, why not Neil Patrick Harris?  For bringing peace to.... umm.....  Hollywood awards shows?! 

MEMBER B:  Remember when Time's Man of the Year was... you?  Why can't we do something like that?  You know, say that the Peace Prize goes to all peace-loving people. 

CHAIR:  No f%$&ing way.  What do you want me to do, hold up a mirror to the cameras when I say who won?  And you know how many idiots would ask for their take of the prize money? 

MEMBER A:  Seriously, Neil Patrick Harris is awesome.  Any of you checked out Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

MEMBER B:  Hey, how about that Iranian guy who won the election but got screwed by the mullahs?  He seemed pretty peaceful.

CHAIR:  Sorry, no dice.  We used up our Iranian quota this decade with Shirin Ebadi.   

MEMBER B:  That Zimbabwean guy?   

CHAIR:  If you can't remember his name, then he's not getting the award. 

MEMBER C:  Did you read how the Oscars will have, like, 10 nominees for Best Picture this year?  Why not give this to all 20 members of the G-20? 

CHAIR:  Doesn't the G-20 actually have more than 20 members?  Can anyone name them all?

Silence....

MEMBER A:  And How I Met Your Mother is definitely underrated as a sitcom.  NPH owns that show.   

MEMBER C:  Hugh Jackman was People's Sexiest Man Alive this year.  Why not double up on him, like we did with Al Gore

MEMBER A:  Get serious, man.  Wolverine sucked!!

MEMBER B:  Hey, here's a crazy thought... why not Barack Obama? 

General laughter and merriment.

CHAIR:  How exactly are we going to justify the award?  Jesus, even Jimmy Carter had done some actual peacemaking when we gave it to him.  What are we going to say?  "Barack Obama has succeeded brilliantly in not acting like George W. Bush in His First Term?"

MEMBER B:  C'mon... the guy just lost the Olympics bid even after flying all the way to Copenhagen. 

MEMBER A:  Hey, how about Taylor Swift?  We could guarantee Kanye wasn't in the audience. 

MEMBER B:  Look, maybe it will give Obama a boost.  With the massive prestige that the Nobel Peace Prize now carries in the United States because of our brilliant recent selections, maybe this will help get health care reform passed.  This award would so put conservatives on the defensive!

[General nodding around the table.]

MEMBER A:  Fine, no one else likes Neil Patrick Harris at this table, I get that.  What about Roman Polanski?  That would make a statement.   

CHAIR (looks at watch):  Fine, whatever, we're way past deadline.  (Points at MEMBER B).  Write up the explanation.  (Points at MEMBER A).  Contact Neil Patrick Harris and put him on "standby" in case Obama can't make it for the acceptance speech. 

MEMBER B (scribbling furiously):  Hmmm....how's this?  "Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts. The vision of a world free from nuclear arms has powerfully stimulated disarmament and arms control negotiations. Thanks to Obama's initiative, the USA is now playing a more constructive role in meeting the great climatic challenges the world is confronting. Democracy and human rights are to be strengthened."

CHAIR:  Hmmm.... no actual achievements other than Not Being George W. Bush in His First Term, but it sure sounds good!  OK, we're adjourned 

MEMBER C (looking through nomination letters):  I can't believe that professor from Tufts nominated Salma Hayek again.  Doesn't he know that this is a serious award?!   

In semi-seriousness -- Bono got robbed, man.

UPDATE:  I do think Obama's response was to the hubbub was pretty good.  Again, I'm really not laughing at him -- I'm laughing at the Nobel Committee's decision-making.  At this point in time, there were a lot of other, more deserving candidates. 

Giving the award to Obama is kind of like giving that junior professor the Teacher of the Year award -- it dooms their chances for tenure. 



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You obviously did not read

You obviously did not read the four short paragraphs the Norwegian Nobel Committee wrote to explain the choice of Obama. The Nobel Prizes are often political. While the politics of spite (Tom Friedman, NY Times) takes over in the USA, the Committee recognizes the need, HERE AND NOW, to encourage "Dialogue and negotiations [as] preferred instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts."

This is no laughing matter.

Oh, it's pretty laughable

I read (and even quoted from) the four short paragraphs. They don't reduce the giggle quotient, I'm afraid.

I personally like this

I personally like this reaction better:

http://narcosphere.narconews.com/thefield/3519/congratulations-dude

Baloney

"Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts."

That's baloney. Where's the "regained . . .multilateral diplomacy . . .central position . . .with emphasis on the role that the United Nations. . .resolving . . .conflicts"?

Obama on strategy: "We say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you," the President said.

on AfPak: The Barack Obama administration has sought to reassure the governments of Pakistan and Afghanistan that its review of strategy in the region did not mean it was considering abandoning the fight against the Taliban and al-Qaeda. The United Nations, and its US lackey the UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, is entitely absent from AfPak except to approve a corrupted election in Afghanistan.

On Iran: Backed by other world powers, President Barack Obama declared Friday that Iran is speeding down a path to confrontation and demanded that Tehran quickly "come clean" on all nuclear efforts and open a newly revealed secret site for close international inspection. He said he would not rule out military action if the Iranians refuse. The UN has been used only as a punitive agent, not a diplomatic one.

on Iraq: The military occupation of that country continues at the same level, despite campaign rhetoric to the contrary. The UN has no role.

cheap laughs

I hope you got some satisfaction out of the cheap laughs you are trying to engender at the Nobel Committee's decision. Personally, I am extremely proud of my country and the president today. The only people I see mocking the president or the Nobel Committee today are the advocates of hate and fear. The rest of us, while acknowledging that it is a bit early in President Obama's term to celebrate solid achievements in peace, also recognize that his election and his actions so far in his administration, have already had a major impact on the direction of this country and the world, by pointing the United States toward diplomacy and peace, instead of toward bluster, unilateralism, international law-breaking, and war.

http://www.hopeandchange.net

cheap credit

Can you look at the citation and honestly say that Obama has done those things? Hope for change is one thing, actual performance is quite another.

Oh -- and what exactly is the "major impact on the direction of this country and the world" that you mention? The Iraq occupation continues, the Afghanistan war has not only been extended into Pakistan as Obama promised but now apparently US troop levels will be increased, and the talks with Iran have principally been a pretense for military action. The United Nations diplomatic involvement in these problems is a flat-out fabrication.

While Obama is more popular than Bush overseas, and who wouldn't be, Obama receives his lowest ratings in Pakistan and the Palestinian territories, two very important areas. Just 13% of Pakistanis have confidence in him, while 51% see him negatively, and a large share (36%) offers no opinion. Three-in-four Palestinians have a negative opinion of Obama, while only 23% see him positively.
http://pewglobal.org/reports/pdf/264.pdf

The major impact is on us.

I think the main reason Obama got the Peace Prize is that Europeans are so relieved to find out that Americans now view the world in a less antagonistic way than we previously expressed. Obama's most important contribution to peace is that, just by what he did and said to get elected, he has changed the viewpoint of a majority of Americans toward the rest of the world. As a result, instead of being viewed as the greatest threat to peace, America is now viewed as a leader in bringing peace. We have gone from the America of unilateralism, swagger and disregard of international law, to an America of respect for other cultures and willingness to listen to opposing points of view. That is no minor accomplishment, and Obama deserves the most credit for it.

Get a Grip

I agree with almost all that BO has done on the foreign policy front but splash some water on the face and get a strong cup of coffee. Geez! Were you there when BO turned water into wine? Saying he doesn't deserve doesn't mean you hate the guy, just that you are honest. Let the haters hate, they will even if he does deserve it but saying he was worthy of the prize makes you sound as ignorant as a birther.

Not funny!

I totally agree with R.Howe! Personally, I think you really missed the point about this. This is another official vote of the world against Bush's policy and a intensifier of a policy of negotiation (which should be reinforced right now).
I wonder what are your reasons for laughing so long, Daniel? Are you dissapointed about the fact that so many people that worked so hard for peace did not receive the price? Is working for peace only about tribut and winning prices? How sad would that be...

The two most propeable theoris

The unserious theory.
In an attempt to top Denmark and snup Sweden, the Norwegians have played theres greatest trumphcard: the Nobelprice. Yes for a day or two, Norway will bask in Obamaglory, roadblocks, incompetent yank journalists and envy from Sweden so thick you can cut it and serve as soapfish. Yes another battle won in the Great Nordic Pissingcontest.

The serious theory

Climate summit in Copenhagen December 7-18

Nobel peace Price Oslo December 10

Coincidence ?

I'm with you on this one, Drezner

It probably won't happen much, so I have to give you credit here. It does cheapen an award that has had some mistakes before. I'm glad to see on Walt's post that ordinary Norwegians think this is a joke as well. (I'm USA-bred,-born, and -will die, BTW)

I'm even chuckling at those who say it is too soon, as if he deserves it now, but it would look better to wait. I can live with Obama's response, but note that he said he didn't deserve to be in the same company of the recipients, not that he didn't deserve the award.

How can it cheapen an award

How can it cheapen an award that's been used for years to encourage efforts? This prize, above all others, has been a blunt political instrument for a long time. Get over it! Rejoice in what The Committee wishes to promote: PEACEFUL RESOLUTIONS OF CONFLICT!

I rejoice in peaceful resolutions of conflict all the time

Whenever I say "okay, honey." But seriously, give me an example when this blunt political instrument has had an effect on anything after the award is given.

But the committee didn't say

it was promoting peaceful resolutions of conflict, it said it was recognizing Obama for achievements that it in fact concocted.

Other winners

Who do you think should have won, Dan? I'm not crazy about the Obama thing (but not completely against it either). Did you have anyone in mind? Just curious. Maybe the Iranian opposition would have been a good choice. But I guess they're busy getting beaten and stuff.

Picking NPH would have been

Picking NPH would have been LEGEN...wait for it...DARY! In all seriousness, I accept the notion that the Nobel Prize often works as a pre-certification that *gives* you the stature necessary to effect change (Someone mentioned Oscar Arias' prize being an example of this). But nobody thinks that what Obama's missing is *stature* on the global stage; instead, what a lot of us think he needs is the ability to make difficult decisions and implement them thoroughly, and to twist arms of national and international politicians thusly. The Nobel Prize doesn't help with that, so it should not have been awarded to him, and he should not have accepted it.

Oh sure, it's just a coincidence

that Obama was in Copenhagen last week with a heavy suitcase. So the only question is, since everything including the Olympic Committee can be bought: How much was it?

Seriously, you do not believe

Seriously, you do not believe in your own words here, right?

You didn't laugh or Giggle. You are lying

You didn't laugh out loud or even giggled, because if I know you right you are an expression-less individual who always maintains the same facial look no matter what.[Like most of us, so stop saying that you laughed or giggled. It is just something you are saying. You didn't. OK?]

The case is similar to when Mohamed Anwar al-Sadat and Menachem Begin shared it in 1978, and when Yassir Arafat and Yitchak Rabin and Shimon Peres got it. Many thought on those occasions: Why give it to Warmongers from Israel, who have committed so many misdeeds in order to cling on to their impossible and misplaced colony at the shores of the Mediterranean. It was an attempt to encourage the parties to continue talking instead of fighting, cause the Norwegians reckoned it is better to talk than to fight. Given the intransistence nature of this local conflict it didn't work both times, as we have seen.

But it might work with Obama, because it will strengten his image -- and thus Americas -- around the world, making it harder for him to begin or escalate wars. Incidentially Israel (as usual) has the role of instigator for US War efforts in both the Middle East and in South East Asia, and the Norwegians probably have had enough of rewarding various Israelis. (They have seen the famous peace process that bears the name of their capital fizzle out in the sand, largely due to Israeli scubbering.)

There is no doubt that it runs contrary to The Israel Lobby's plans with Obama, but so more reason for us peace-loving individuals to celebrate.

Mr. Obama, if you read this: Withdraw the troops from Afghanistan, now!

________________________

Please take a look at this table of all coalition casualties in Helmand and Kandahar in 2009, the stronghold of the Taleban.

I think it is an honor for

I think it is an honor for our president, the president of the United states of America to win the Nobel Peace prize award and this for many reasons.For the purpose of my comment, i will enumerate only one reason. During the last decades, people from almost everywhere consider us, mostly the President of the United, as the policeman of the World. In other words, we have the strongest military capacity and we are the first one to be present when it comes to war.This is not what we want to be known as.They even say that we no longer use diplomacy to resolve conflict.I think this award will help restoring our image as a peace nation in the rest of the world.

War is Peace,

in other words, and we should rename the US War Department, which is now called the Defense Department, the Peace Department. That would complete the charade, wouldn't it.

The problem is that the people who supposedly have this "image" of the US as a "peace nation" are not that stupid, in fact they're not stupid at all, and most of them are better informed than most Americans about what is really happening.

This whole episode is one big

This whole episode is one big joke. Obama should have declined.

It's been almost a century

It's been almost a century since the Nobel Prize was awarded to a sitting American President,Woodrow Wilson.In this regard it is obvious it's an honor for the United States to have its fourty fourth President amongst the most transformative figures of the world. At the other hand when we look back not only at what President Obama had accomplished but his effort to strenghten diplomacy and to set the world free from nuclear weapons; one will conclude that was not a gift, he deserved it. On April 5th 2009 in Hracaanske square, outside Prague Castle President Obama declared " We will reduce the role of nuclear weapons in our national security security and urge other to do the same" and added to reduce our warheads and stockpiles, we will negotiate a New Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty with the Russians this year. Under the Obama's leadership the United States is playing now a more constructive than a destrctive world and this is the reason why he has been rewarded

blah, blah, blah

I know what Obama said...Obama says a whole lot of things but at some point we are judged by what we do. Unless of course you are Obama. If you were to judge W on what he said he would have won the peach prize 6 years in a row. Has there ever been any President that spoke more often of democracy and freedom? Good intentions mean nothing unless of course you plan to pave a road to...where is it exactly?

Obama is more MR!

H.E. the president Mahinda Rajapaksa of Sri Lanka should have gotten it for bringing peace down to the whole South Asia.. That said, Norwegian government pretty good at taking advantages of 'War Situations'!! They have proved that in the past well..

Not Fair to Obama

I'm not an BO fan but I think that the Committee did him wrong here. It put him in an impossible situation that he did not ask for - I am certain that he did not give his nomination a second thought after it was originally mentioned. If they hoped to help him all it did was make him look worse - he can't get the Olympics to Chicago, he can't get help in Afghanistan and he can't any love for sanctions on Iran but they will give him a prize instead. It's like getting the Sportsmanship Award in your Little League team because they can't award you anything else. I got a closetful of sportsmanship trophies and trust me I would have given my left eye (in the interest of keeping this profanity free) to get an MVP trophy.